= The Grand Collected Rules of Squigby =
Last Modified Tue 17 Oct 2006
0. The Rules.
Anything covered under these Rules.
"Directed" or "Specified," as in, by Rule or Adjudication.
"Normally" shall be construed to mean that the Rule holds in
all circumstances not specified by other Rules.
"Or else" shall be construed to mean that if the Rule is demonstrably
Violated, the Offense is Barfable.
The Term "Term" shall be construed to mean a Term spoken by a
Player that indicates Invokation of the Rule specified by the
0.2. Time Units.
Any continous period of Squigbiy! Play. Normally, Rules may only
be Invoked during Gametime.
A period of Time during which a Player has exclusive Rights to
certain Actions, which normally concludes with the Play of at
least one (1) Card. Any following Turn commences immediately
upon the Conclusion of the current Turn.
An ordered cycle of Turns in which each Player takes exactly
one, or else.
A possibly fractional ordered cycle of Turns concluding with
the Taking of the Sgkwuigkbey!
A possibly fractional sequence of Rounds that lasts exactly until
a Player has Won.
Any stretch of Time between Suspension and Resumption of Gametime.
Any Player may invoke Gamebreak at any Time, but excessive frequency
or duration is Barfable once per Infraction, even in Absentia.
Gametime may be Resumed any Time thereafter by the invoking Player
or by Adjudication. In theory, all Time spent between stretches
of Gametime, however long, are merely Gamebreak.
No Game Material, including, but not limited to, the Players,
the Cards, or the Surface, may be physically Defaced or Altered,
except with the expressed Consent of the specific Material's prior Owner.
0.4. The Squiggbey! Rule.
No Player may issue any expletive, profanity, or obscenity other
than the Term "Squigby" during Gametime, or else. A Player may
escape Barfing under this Rule by invoking Sqkwieggbij!
1. The Surface and The Hand.
1.0. The Surface.
Squigbee! must be played on a reasonably flat Surface, since
several Piles of Cards must be kept in some passable form of
Order. Anything face-up on the Surface may be examined by any
Player at any Time. Cards shall be piled on the
Surface, either face-up or face-down, on top of a Pile or else
inside, and the Card Piles on the Playing Surface shall be, to
1.0.0. The Draw Pile.
The Draw Pile shall consist of the Cards not yet Dealt in this
Match. The entire contents of the Pile shall normally be kept
face down on the Playing Surface, or else. Normally, a Player will
Draw Cards as Specified from this Pile.
1.0.1. The Sqwigbee! Pile.
The Squuigbe! Pile shall be that Pile of Cards into which each Player may Play
Cards face up. No two Cards of the same Number may be on top of this Pile at
any Time. If a card that has been Played cannot be placed on the Squygyby!
Pile, then it must be placed in the Recycling Bin instead. The contents of this
Pile are Cycled into the Recycling Bin after each Squiegbi!
1.0.2. The Recycling Bin.
All Cards that would Normally have no further significance during
this Match are placed face-up in the Recycling Bin.
1.1. The Hand.
Each Player may hold up to fifty-four (54) Cards in their Hand.
The Player has exclusive Rights to the Use and Play of these
Cards, and may keep all Knowledge about their Hand secret, except
for the number of Cards held.
2. Lighting the Match.
2.0. The Deck.
The Deck shall be an approximately randomly distributed set of
fifty-two (52) to fifty-four (54) standard poker-style playing
cards. Every Card not a Joker is considered to have a Number.
2.1. The Dealer.
A Player may volunteer to be Dealer, unless one (1) has already
been Selected. If no Player volunteers, one (1) is Selected before
the Match commences. The Player to the Dealer's left is hereinafter
referred to as the Connection.
2.2. The Deal.
The Dealer then deals seven (7) Cards face-down, one at a time,
in succession, to each Player, starting with the Connection,
and finishing with themselves. The Cards Dealt now comprise each
Player's Hand. The remaining Cards in the Deck become the
Draw Pile. The Connection then commences the Match with the Play
of a Card.
3. Just Playing Cards.
A Player must transfer one (1) or more Cards from a Pile to their
Hand where Specified, which commences with the Player's hand
touching the Pile from which the Cards are Drawn.
Players have the exclusive Right to Play one (1) or more Cards
from their Hand to one (1) or more Piles during their Turn, concluding
with the Player's hand leaving the Pile to which the last Card
Cards are normally Played to the Squigbey! Pile, unless otherwise
Once a Player has Played Cards, their Turn is over, and Play
continues with the Player on their immediate left, or else.
Only identically Numbered Cards may be Played during a single
Aces may be Played as higher than Kings or lower than Deuces.
4. Strategic Maneuvers.
If the Sqkueggbij! Pile is empty, a Player may Open by Playing
4.1. Establishing Direction.
If the Sghwygkbiy! Pile contains at least one (1) Card, and
Direction has not been established, then a Player may establish
Direction by Playing any Card. If the second Card is higher than
the first, the Direction is considered Upwards; otherwise, it
is considered Downwards.
4.2. Continued Play.
Once Direction has been established, a Player may normally only
Play Cards higher than the top numbered Card of the Pile, if the
Direction is Upwards; and only those lower than the top numbered
Card, if the Direction is Downwards.
4.3. Consecutive Play.
A Player may Play a Card having the same Number
as the top numbered Card, if any, of the Squwiygby! Pile by
invoking "Pull". The Player who played said top Card must
declare "Mulch" before Drawing one (1) Card, or else.
If there is a top numbered Card on the Szkqwuuigbie! Pile, and said Card was
Played as a Pull, then a Player may normally Play a Card having the same
Number by invoking "Push". The Player who played said Pull must declare
"Mush" before Drawing two (2) cards, or else.
If there is a top numbered Card on the Skwuyggbey! Pile, and said Card was
played as a Push, then a Player may normally Play a Card having the same
Number by invoking "Cucamonga". The Player who played said Push must normally
declare "Anaheim" before Drawing three (3) cards, or else.
Instead of declaring "Anaheim", a Player may discard an Ace and invoke
"Anti-Cucamonga". The Player who originally played the Cucamonga must
then Draw the three (3) cards instead.
4.3.4. Incontravertibility of Mulch.
In some circles, it is considered Unsqwwwigbylike to Barf a Player for
invoking Mulch in place of Mush or Cucamonga.
4.4. Simultaneous Play.
Players may play two (2) Cards simultaneously by invoking "Tribble",
Players may play three (3) Cards simultaneously by invoking "Homerun",
4.4.2. The Greatest Thing Ever.
Players may play four (4) Cards simultaneously by invoking "The Greatest
Thing Ever", or else.
4.5.0. Double Tribble.
In the Turn immediately following a Tribble, a Player may play two (2)
cards of the same Number as the top Card of the Szkooygbbie! Pile by
invoking "Double Tribble", in place of either Tribble or Pull. The
Player who played the original Tribble must then declare Mulch and
Draw two (2) Cards, or else.
4.6. Jokers Wild.
Jokers are considered Numberless.
A Player may play a Joker by invoking "Wurlitzer". All Players must then
pass their Hand to the Player in the direction specified by the invoking Player.
4.6.2. Double Wurlitzer.
In similar fashion, a Player may play two (2) Jokers simultaneously,
by invoking "Double Wurlitzer", instead of either Tribble or Wurlitzer.
Each Player must then pass their Hand twice in the direction specified
by the invoking Player.
When a Player invokes Wurlitzer, any other Player may discard a Joker and
invoke "Counter-Wurlitzer" before Hands are passed, to prevent the Wurlitzer
from taking place. If Counter-Wurlitzer is invoked, the original Joker stays
where it was played, and Play continues to the left.
No player may Win by playing a Wurlitzer, Double Wurlitzer, or
4.7. Fair Warning.
When a Player holds exactly two (2) Cards, they must invoke "Wootzle"
before the start of the next turn, or else.
When a Player holds exactly one (1) Card, they must invoke "Wootzit"
before the start of the next turn, or else draw two (2) Cards.
5. Round and Round and Round in the Circle Game.
5.0. Taking the Sgkuygby!.
If a Player is unable or unwilling to continue Play, they must
draw a number of Cards from the Draw Pile equal to the number
of the Cards in the Squiggbiey! Pile. The Szkhwygkbey! Pile
is then emptied face-up into the Recycling Bin. Direction is
considered disestablished, and the Player then continues their
5.1. One-Card Sgwickbee!.
Taking a one (1) card Szgkquiygby is Barfable.
5.2. Emptying the Recycling Bin.
Before the Draw Pile empties, the Dealer must shuffle the contents
of the Recycling Bin, and place them face-down at the bottom
of the Draw Pile, or else.
6. Rule Number Six.
There shall be no Rule Number Six.
7. Victory Conditions.
7.0. Winning Style.
Normally, a Player wins a Match when they hold no Cards in their
Hand. The next Match may then commence with the Connection as the new
In the Event that a Player has exactly one (1) Card in their
Hand, and may establish the Direction of Play, they must invoke
"Checkmate" before playing a Card, or else.
Certain Specified Rule Infractions may be Barfed, although Barfing
may normally only be Invoked during Gametime.
Any Player may challenge a Barf with an Adjudication, however,
the alleged Barfee is automatically Unfit to be Moderator.
If a Barf is Challenged, it must be found Just or Unjust by Adjudication;
if the Barf is not Challenged, it is automatically considered Just.
If a Barf is found Just, the Barfee must draw one (1) Card from
the Draw Pile, unless otherwise Specified. No Penalty may be
Invoked for any Infraction if Barf is not Called, or the Barf
is found Unjust.
8.3. Wrongful Barf.
If a Barf is found Unjust, any Player may invoke Wrongful Barf
to cause the Barfer to normally suffer the Penalty of the original
Unsquwegkbeylike Play may be Barfable, but is always subject
9.0. Opening Debate.
Any Point of Order may be subject to Adjudication at any Time. Any Player may
implicitly or explicitly open Debate. Gamebreak is automatically Invoked as a
9.1. Moderating Debate.
The Dealer is normally the Moderator of the Debate. Any Moderator
may be Adjudicated Unfit by a Majority of the remaining Players,
in which case the Player to the Moderator's left becomes Moderator.
If all Players are Adjudicated Unfit to Moderate, Debate is
immediately Concluded with no Adjudication.
9.2. Impeding Debate.
The Moderator may Barf any Player that impedes Debate. This Right
is subject to Wrongful Barf.
9.3. Concluding Debate.
The Moderator may declare Debate Concluded with the Consent of
a Majority of Players to a given Adjudication, or to none at
all. Note that a "tied vote" does not consitute a Majority. Any
Adjudication concluded under Debate is then Binding under these
Rules. Gametime resumes normally with the first Play of a Card.
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Squigby! is ©opyright 2000 Eric Schwartz and provided under the terms of the